Da Klan of Kliffhangahz

Retired!

Race:	Orc
Coach:	Brookesy

Description

Living the high life as undefeated heavyweight champions of everything, Coach Rex ponders the deeper meaning of life in his retirement.

Bulletin board from the coach
May 29th, 2018 - old news
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Coach Rex strolled lazily out the front door. Six days into retirement and he was loving it. Away from the daily hustle and bustle of pulping heads and grinding bones, he could get to know the real Rex, spend some time with Rex Jnr and generally get some much needed rnr. With that Coach Rex grabbed the daily paper and sauntered back for his morning bog. Clambering up on top of his golden, diamond encrusted throne, he opened the paper, glanced at the personals quickly and then skipped on to the back page. "Hmm would you look at that, new WCL season is due to start" he muttered absent mindedly as gently plopping commenced in the background. "I wonder if the Dragons will do it this time round with me gone?" Then he snorted. Rage filled him. "BlueBloodz think they can take the place of No1 orc team of all time do they!" He was furious. Rex grabbed the nearby cups and string. In times like these he consulted only the best bloodbowl mind in the history of ever. He consulted... himself. Rex: What's this about some BlueBloodz coach thinking he can top DKOK!? I'll kill him I will. He will be dead. His team, dead. Every fan, dead! Cheerleaders, dead! Coach: Calm down Rex my boy- Look the fact is you'll shit out a better team this morning than the BlueBloodz will ever field. Rex: Yeah. You know I can spell my name in the floating turds right now. Coach: Right yes well... the point is everyone loves you and they're just trying to make up for the whole you left in their hearts. You did retire you know. This DaBlackSkull fellow is clearly an admirer and he's trying to reach out to you, for guidance and praise. Rex: Now I feel guilty, leaving all those whippersnappers without a true and active idol. I'm just a sensitive guy, maybe I should help this DaBlackSkull, show him how real orc coaches do it. Coach: You could always, unretire you know? Rex: But what about Jnr? Coach laughed, Rex laughed, they both laughed. Coach: Yes indeed well let's wait a little then. Let me chat to some fellows. Perhaps an exhibition match is in order if they can find a large enough stadium. Rex: Righto. Rex hung up. Content with his counterparts plan, he continued his read and daily activities with more gusto than ever before. "Unretirement, now there's a thought..."
- Brookesy


Mar. 5th, 2018 - old news
GODSLAYER A great beast arrived in DKOK land, carried upon wings of fire and death, a magnificent scythe clasped in its hands. All who saw Him immediately fell to their knees. He was changed, He was different, He was divine. There was no mistaking it, Coach Rex had returned. “My people, I knew that our troubles did not end with the WAFFL or even the WAFFL commissioners. Nay, they were small fish in this equation. The real problem was much higher. The real problem was Nuffle himself! He has interfered with our every move, our every block, pass and play, and then spread lies and deceit among the ranks of other coaches. Coaches who are blind but for my light. I hope they have not fallen in my absence… But fear not for I have accomplished what many deemed impossible. I return not as Coach Rex, but now, GODSLAYER REX for I have slain Nuffl! It was a cataclysmic battle, a test of cunning and might, brutality and brains! Lightening flashed and thunder crashed and atop the highest peak of the tallest mountain we fought. Nine days it lasted! But lo I prevailed, striking Nuffle down from the mountaintop and sending Him plummeting to his doom! Make no mistake, by the time this season is over, all shall kneel to Godslayer Rex and my mighty champions!”
- Brookesy


Mar. 1st, 2018 - old news
F-WIT PROMOTED Tensions are running high in DOOK land as concerns mount over Coach Rex. His trusted assistant Frederick Whitt, or "F-Wit" for short, has assumed command until the fate of Coach Rex is confirmed. Rumours abound that he has absconded, tanked the season and left with a hefty bribe. F-Wit makes no comment at this stage but it is ominous that the world is falling into turmoil with rising seas and exploding volcanoes abound. If there was to be a signal of bad times, this is it. Where are you Coach Rex?
- Brookesy


Feb. 27th, 2018 - old news
COACH REX MISSING Missing for 12 hours without an update, DKOK fans knew something was wrong. He was last seen defecating on a shrine to Nuffle in the early hours of the morning. The shrine was later found ablaze but Coach Rex's body was not recovered. Is this the end of Waffl's greatest coach, philanthropist and all round good guy? The search continues.
- Brookesy