DrSnail's Inglorious All-Stars
Description
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| Bulletin board from the coach |
| Nov. 1st, 2022 - old news |
Gashers Dashed by Inglorious Allstars Dr Snail's Inglorious All-stars continued their recent winning streak in a thrilling match last night, defeating Nagasha's Gashers 2 points to 1.
Despite starting down one Mummy, the Gasher's had early success with a well played touchdown thanks in particular to their Star Ghoul - Bon . However the outright brutality of the Inglorious Allstars proved to be their undoing, as their Rat Ogre  sKReECh made a point of hunting down every Ghoul in sight. The eventual fall of their only mummy proved to be too much for the team, as the Inglorious Allstars repeatedly smashed their way through for two touchdowns.
Despite their success, the Inglorious All-stars still prove unable to attract a sponsor for their team. Dr Snail has reportedly blamed this, as usual, on continued anti-snail prejudice against him and his team. However unnamed sources cite his sordid history of embezzlement and cheating as reasons for the lack of interested sponsors.
In a separate, unauthorised press conference, Kilt Dwarfkutta loudly claimed credit for the team's recent success, despite achieving very little since his return to the team last match. |
| - Dr Snail |
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| Oct. 9th, 2022 - old news |
Crushing Loss stirs All-Star Turmoil The 1-3 loss in round 2 against the Geel Boys was always going to be a bitter pill to swallow for the Inglorious All-Stars. All the more so by the fact that the agile Geel Boys even managed to out-bash their normally formidable team lineup.
So it may come as no surprise that resentment and recriminations have been coming thick and fast in the weeks since, and recently even exploded into the public eye during a memorable, unauthorised press conference by their star player - Kilt Dwarfkutta.
"For too long, the success of the All-Stars has lain squarely on my shoulders,", the diminuitiuve skaven ranted.
"Every touchdown this season has been solely thanks to me. I've been awarded MVP once already and what do I get in return? A useless team of half-wits who can't even keep a bunch of weak-ass elves off my back!"
"Well, I've had enough. If my s#!7-@5$ team doesn't appreciate my efforts, then they can all shove it."
WIth that Kilt stalked off the stage, shoving the lecturn into the crowd and throwing the microphone at the nearest reporter.
In a subsequent statement, Dr Snail annouced that Kilt Dwarfkutta will be taking a "short leave of absence while the team's staff beat some sense into that ungrateful &%*$-&!#@".
Meanwhile the public waits in anticipation for the All-Star's round 3 match against Black Heart's Buccaneers. |
| - Dr Snail |
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| Aug. 23rd, 2022 - old news |
A new beginning for Dr Snail After a lengthy and sordid trial during the off season, Dr Snail has been inexplicanly cleared of all charges pertaining to wide-scale embezzlement. However the high cost of his trial "expenses" (some might say bribes) has left Dr Snail on the brink of bankruptcy and a deeply divisive figure in the public's eye.
With his former championship snotling team scattered to the wind, Dr Snail has set about building a new team. This time, he's been left with little choice but to hire the most maligned, narcissistic players in the burgeoning SAW league - the players no other team would have. Together, they are to form Dr Snail's Inglorious All-Stars. |
| - Dr Snail |
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